parental discretion is advised.

But isn't hate just scorned love?

haha.. well, not if you saw my parents. those people hate me like there's no tommorow. they compare me, they stall me, and they blamme me for like.. EVERYTHING. sometimes i just wanna go up to them and say IF YOU KEEP ON BLAMING ME FOR THINGS, WHY'D YOU EVEN HAVE A DAMN KID? i. if they think I'M making their life miserable, YOU SHOULD SEE HOW THEY MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE.

in the morning, it;'s the same. "MARIE WAAAAKE UP! GET OUT OF BED!"
and i say "ok, ok, im coming." and then they say "WHY DID YOU JUST SHOUT AT ME?" which actually causes me to shout.. >.<

and now, my mom thinks that im the most disorganized piece of crap int he world, so she's making me make a SCHEDULE for evertything i do. at least I get to make it. she isnt giving me back my laptop (lethario).. bitch. thanks for making my life suck even more. not only cause i hav e to live in the same house as you, but also becauswei have no other source of FREE communication now. thanks. i hope you like having me be socially deprived. bye.

What a Waste.

I imagined it, todays blog. Filled with spontaneous fun and excitement.
I woke up at 12 today (after my mom bugging me, ew) and did pretty much nothing but slug around, which was perfectly fine with me. I started learning When You Were Young and then my mom calls and says the cousins from sacramento are coming over. So woo, we have a great time with my uncle and he takes us to all these cool places like guitar center, a buddhist temple, my cousin sharons house because it was her birthday and we gave her a happy meal, yada yada, with lots of jokes thrown in. But then i go home, and my parents SUCK. They yell at me like they always do. MY whole family's against me, and my parents like my sister more. And it really doesnt help that she always says something on their side. And what i really hate is my dad STARES at me. and its like, wtf did i even do wrong? And then my parents always say that im YELLING. Sometimes its because they cant friggin hear me, and sometimes im not even yelling! And my mom has the NERVE to say "parents can yell at their children as much as they want, and children have to be sweet sounding". SWEET SOUNDING? Do you know how hard it is to sound sweet when you're absolutely pissed off and smad, because every time they talk to you, its the LAST STRAW? Earlier I was walking through the room and
Dad: Wheres the calculator?
Me: I dont know.
DAd: WHY ARE YOU YELLING? YOU'RE TALKING LIKE YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TO ME.
And I wasnt even yelling! What did i do wrong? I didnt know where it was, whats the problem?
And I continue to explain that to him, but he cuts me off and says DONT YELL AT ME. and then cuts me off again and says SPEAK IN VIETNAMESE. When i dont even KNOW enough viet to say things like that. And all the while, he;s doing that STARE. THe last time I said why are you staring at me, he just yelled WHAT? I CANT LOOK AT YOU? WHAT?
And this just sucks ass, cuz he said i talked to him like i dont want to talk to him, AND DUH. WHY THE F*** WOULD I WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO YELLS AT ME ALL THE TIME? THERE IS NO F***ING WAY, THAT I CAN TALK SWEETLY TO SOMEONE WHO IRKS ME, THAT. MUCH.

And my whole family, they just say... Jeez, why are you so loud? Calm down, jeez. I HATE THIS.
Oh wow, my dad just came in and smiled. THen I looked away and he goes "see? isnt this better? if i smile then you smile and its all great. who needs to say what what what. " FUCK YOU.

Splotches

Idk, i just like that word. There are splotches of SHIT in my life.
So much for spring break. I dont even know anymore.
I have issues, definitely. The worse part is, im complaining about nothing- so shoot me, I'm whiny.
Wtf do you care? you don't have to read this.

OH GREAT SHIZ. my mom just called me to yell at me and tell me to wipe WINDOWS.
FRIGGIN WINDOWS. BECAUSE THE WORLD SHALL PERISH, IF OUR BEIGE HOUSE'S FUCKING WINDOWS ARE NOT FREE OF A SPECK OF DUST, THAT WILL MOST LIKELY RETURN TWO SECONDS AFTER WE WIPE IT.

You know, no one really has any right to tell someone to shut up if they're whining, because you're just whining. I can do what I want with my life, don't tell me what to do. Anyway what do you care if there's a person in the world that wants to rant? Is there fucking problem? Why don't you report it to the police "hey, there's a whiny bitch on the internet, tell her to shut the freak up"

I'm just wasting my time. I should finsish Step Brothers.
And you know what, if he wants to do what he does, and say what he does, then great for him. Maybe I am living in my fantasy world, where no one is what I imagine them to be. I'm loving a dream.

how can i put this...

i seriously need a private blog.
that no one, NO ONE can read.
T^T.

...

high school acceptance thrills have deserted me.
i should make a totally private blog, since this stuff's totally private.
...
yeah.

my family annoys me :)

mostly my mom's side of the family!
especially my aunt! :D
today, i was just typing and doing my homework, and listening to boys like girls! (WHICH IS ALTERNATIVE, MOTHERFUCKERS)
and my aunt comes in, and she's like "how come you always listen to punk music?"
and my mom's like "she likes to get high off of punk music. let her fail."
HAHA, omfg, i hate my mom. and my aunt.
i hate my mom cause she just.. thinks i can be smarter and that i'm not living up to my "potential" so she just annoys me about how i'm going to fail. and that i spend my life on the computer and i'm gonna fail. great, huh. i skipped a grade, and i'm doing better than half the class. what more can she want ?!
so... when she shuts up aboutthat, my aunt says "how come you drew on your backpack?"
and my mom goes on abut how i'm a failure.
i really hate my aunt.


i took a 45 minute walk about an hour ago. I just brought my cd player (CAUSE I'M IPOD DEEEEPRIVED) and walked. it was so nice.
i wish i could do tht forever. but no. i had hw. shit.

O_O CLOWNS

I just saw the "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson music video. Late, huh? But I don't usually see the music videos. But I have to say, that was FREAKY. I finally got the message halfway through, that he likes her without makeup and such, but that was AHHHHH.

Also, I went downstairs and there's a new table in my kitchen. o_o NOBODY warned me of this, I just go down, and there's some freaky stranger table. :[ I didn't even get to say goodbye to the old one.

.

...
damn right, i'm "not posting."
today's been hot and cold.
mostly cold. no. not even lukewarm.
it was going by "ok" until like.. 3. ._.
so i come home and OOH! myspace comment! from who? dominuqee?! yay! let's comment back.
so i do that for about 45 mins. back and forth, and ... guess who reads our comments?!
none other than the person we were talking about. oh, woopdeedoo.
so, she gets the guts to post a bulletin about how i have no lifeeee. =)
and .. omigosh! guess what happens next ?!
yeah, you guessed it! i did nothing. not even a bulletin to talk back.
and, i'm a litttttle bit happy about that cause... if i replied to that bulletin, it would've gotten me into an even worse situation.
but still! i'm still IN a situation.
here it comes.

first off, you said "if you talk crap about people on myspace, it's tacky [idk]"
reality check: OH, THIS COMING FROM THE GOSSIP QUEEN HERSELF, RIGHT?!
secondly: you have no life!
reality check: yeah. i have no life. great. how bout you? i don't spend my hours looking at people's comments.
**different bulletin: i ran 4 miles! you DON'T have to be 90 lbs. to run! cause i did it!
reality check: areyoumotherfuckingserious.
thank god for people like my gurlfrann and alyssa; thanks for the help, guys :]

BUT! AS IF THIS DAY COULD GET ANY WORSE!
my mom comes in the room and sees the bulletin. :)
you. can. not. believe. how. mad. she. got.
she took away my laptop. she's making me relocate to "downstairs". where everyone can see what i'm doing.
well, that's great.
cause thanks a lot, SARAH, YOU'VE OFFICIALLY RUINED MY LIFE.
YES. YOU HAVE. YOUUUU HAVE.
people are hatin' on me. that's great.
: i fucking hate this life; i just can't handle it. I CAN'T, CAN'T, CAN'T.
idk how i've gone so far, but i'm definetly not enjoying it.

OH YEAH. MY DAD'S SO FUCKING STUPID. HONESTLY.
HE JUST COMES UP TO ME ALL THE TIME NOW, AND SAYS
YOUR FAULT!
IT'S YOUR FAULT.
YOU KNOW WHAT!? IT'S YOUR FAULT!
CAUSE IF YOU NEVER HAD A KID. THIS WOULD NEVER HAD HAPPENED. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP MAN.
YEAH. sSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTTHEFUCKINGHELLUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

greatttt.

Well this effing sucks. Idk really, life? Okay, there are some good parts. But really, it all comes back down to my theory, can we really just leave friends that aren't good for us? It doesn't matter what other people think of you, say to you, and bring you down, huh? Ok, well what if everyone you knew was liek that, and the only people who are nice to you are only like that because they're being polite, and you are completely utterly on your own? (even your family- hey, it could happen with my kinda parents) \

I'm not saying my situation is like that. Heck, i have too many good things to complain. Sure, someone's bitchy or an asshole every once in a while, but i have it better than many. But what if what if what if... I heard that's what authors live off of. Get their inspiration from and stuff.

And i STILL don't know why i bother talking. It usually just gets me that LOOK. I hate that look. It's liek this glare people give me when i say something stupid that's like "You stupid!" Without words and a hundred times worse. Eff you. Like that Lily Allen song.

untitled.

i have no specific title, but i must be pretty freakin depsertae, two blogs in one day.
more to add to my day.
i've NEVER cried so hard in my life. never.
mom+dad thing, once again, they suck so bad.
they just teamed up and totally went against me. like, totally.
they sooo emphasized the "irresposible unorganized" part, but seriously, did they HAVE to go on?! "you're so immature, you play around too much, you're gonna turn out to be a disaster"
yeah. i got pissed. i finally broke.
so it was around when they said "do you want us to treat you like a child?! hold your hand everywhere, and tuck you into bed every night?!"
i broke. and i said "I'D RATHER SLIT MY THROAT."
that kinda pissed them off.
i mean, like... really.
-_______-
so i guess my eyes and my mouth are gonna hurt like shine tommorow.
especially my mouth. ._.
i like the fall of troy.









i hate valentine's day. so much for love.
i bet jackie was talking about me.
my problems are too much, idk why i even do this...

blarrgg.

WONDERFUL DAY, OR SO IT SEEMED.
today, i wake up, realize it's late, and leave the house without eating. anything. or drinking. xD
get in the car, put ipod earphones in my ear, and the screen says "connect to power."
so i just stare out the window the whole entire drive.
my mouth's hurting, and my mom gets mad at me cause i don't talk.
mom: why aren't you talking?!
me: i got spacers, remember!?
mom: that doesn't make an excuse.
me: ... my mouth hurts. (JUST SHUT UP CAUSE IT HURTS)
mom: so?
me: it hurts to talk. (THIS IS PAINFUL FOR ME, YOU BUTTHEAD.)
mom: *lectures about how she never talked to her parents so rudely for 15 minutes.*
wonderful.
so i get into class,and show jackie and jerrald my NERO book for my book report, and jackie talks about how i thought nero was weird and shit.
Jackie: i thought nero was WEIRD
me: yeah, i found a book (MY MOUTH'S KILLING ME SHEEEIT)
so.. i guess i just LEAVE IT THERE
and when i come back, it's GONE. TOTALLY GONE. JUST GONE.
i'm still suspecting ian >.> BUT STILL, IT'S GONE. TOTALLY GONE.
and i looked alllllll over the freaking school for the damn book, AND IT'S GONE. GONNNNE.
that messed up my mood.
so i get into the car, and my mom starts talking to me again.
me: my nero book's gone.
mom: HOW COME YOU ALWAYS LOSE THINGS?! YOU'RE SO IRRESPONSIBLE! I NEVER LOSE MY THINGS. YOU'RE SO UNORGANZIED.
me: mhm. (shut up!)
mom: you better find it.
... OMG, I STILL CAN'T FIND IT.
so then, i get home, go to my room and look for clothes to wear tommorow,
AND GUESS WHAT?! NO JEANS! OR ANYTHING! ONLY SHORTS AND CARGO PANTS.
THAT'S IT. OMG, IMA LOOK LIKE KATRINA TOMMOROW. BADLY DRESSED.
i mean, i have my power rangers shirt, and my white jacket, but NOOOOO JEANS.
WTF?! AWW MANN, COME ONNN. HAVE SOME SORT OF MERCY ON ME, GOD.
my heart shades, i left them at KARATE, AND I DON'T GO TO KARATE ON THURSDAYS.
SHINNNNNNNNNNEEEE.
i have to accessorize SOMEHOW. UGH.
I JUST WANT MY NERO BOOK BACK. I WANT TO WEAR A TOGA AND TALK ABOUT HOW I KILLED MY WIVES BY PUTTING THEM IN HOTTUBS AND SLITTING THEIR VEINS. I WANNA TALK ABOUT HOW I SET PEOPLE ON FIRE AND USED THEM TO LIGHT UP MY GARDEN.
I JUST WANT MY NEROOOO BOOOOOOK.


Yeah. Karma. I wanted to use him first. But that doesn't matter of course.

I noticed a lot, no one really cares about you. When it reallllllyyy gets down to it, does anyone care? And my crazy asian parents, they dont really care. So when not even your family cares, who does? And your friends, when they've heard your stories, given their advice and consolence- after a while, they just kind of get sick of you. You're just an annoying voice that used to be funny, or they're tired of your complaining. You suck at everything, and they don't really care of course, so what are you stuck with? I always wondered, people tell you you don't need friends who are mean, but what if you had mean friends but that was all you had? No one's gonna magically become your friend. You're alone. You might be the most righteous person in the world, but you're alone.

Why do girls (maybe guys too, idk) have a need to tell people their problems? I'll listen of course, but what if no one wants to hear. You're kinda stuck hearing but never telling. Oh well.

ehhhh.

me and jackie aren't going to the dance,
i have to watch holy people play basketball.
my mom+dad paid for my aunt and cousin to come,
BUT WHAT DO THEY DO?!
THEY DON'T COME, and my aunt says "OH, I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT."
and to top it off, she asks me "what are you doing?"
and when i say "nothing"
she says "how come you don't share what you do with us ? you're so selfish."

now here it comes.
LIISSTTEN UPP.
mDO MYYY HOMEWORK. I HAVE MY OWNNN HW TO DO TO, YOU KNOW.y mom and dad do almost everryything they can to support you,
and when they ask youuuu for a favor, you deny it?!?
and you're calling ME selfish ?!
wow, look who's talking!
just leave me alone, and noo, why WOULD i share my day with you?
and youu,, you stupid cousin,
STOP MAKING ME DO YOUR HWFOR YOU
AND IF YOU WONDER WHY YOU GET LIKE, STARIGHT C'S, MAYBE IT'S CAUSE YOU ACTUALLY LISTEN TO THE ANSWERS I GIVE YOU.
JEEEEEESUS CHRIST, JUST LET ME

ok, my rant?

NO,NOT REALLY A RANT.
IT'S JUST NOT EVEYRDAY WHE YOU GET A CUUUUTE DUDE ASKING YOU TO BE HIS VALENTINE ?!
WOOOOO !
anyways, ... I STILL LOVE ANTHONY. XD
don't be jealous, mann, ;)
how nice though, i won't be alone for valentine's day.
it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :)
and that's a good feeling.
and--WOW JACKIE JUST GOT OFFLINE !
WITHOUT SAYING BYE BYE OR LAHHV YOU TOO !
WTF!
well, that's a burden. anyways,
once again, it's sooo not everyday when you get soem dude asking you to be his valentine. how nice.
this valentine's is gonna interesting (stole from jackie).
obviously.
gah, >.>.
so my day was ok-ish, filled with professional pikachu drawings and beautiful marills and charmanders.
speaking of pokemon, i still have my old pokemon cards.
HEY, WANNA TRADE ?! my mr.mime's annoying me.

Now that's multitasking

CaptainJackee here. So, a lot happens in a day these days. Sigh, I remember back when it used to just be bad days and good days. 24 hours in which any kinda shit can happen (about half of it spent sleeping eating and showering tho)- and lately, there's been lots of it. Maybe I have mood swings?

Anyway, so I notice, some days I fill the other blog with lala happiness, and this one with... this kinda stuff. It's both real, its both me (dont start singing demi lovato). Or is it? I can't be myself if I don't even know. Right now's a real mind-twister. I guess that's what IMing's for. Talk to 4 different people at the same time about different things in different atmospheres. I think I change depending on who im talking to.

Number one: chattin it up with muhree.
Wow, never kissed? Haha yeah. OMG you have a cute valentine? XP he looks korean. Then she starts CAPsing how wonderful the day is :]. XP yeahh... love you too. BOB SAGET ON PRIMETIME? LOLZ. (she says: I LOVE YOU THE MOST BUT DONT TELL NO ONE!) <-- i made sure no one knows. then she gets a call XP

At the same time (my sister talking to me in real-life):
HAHA! LOOK IT THIS! (fail blog- hilarious blog filled with pictures of everyday fails)
http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/fail-owned-air-fresh-fail.jpg
And then she asks me, "can you IM me *hugs* ?" Cuz i guess she needs to win a bet, so I type "farts". Yep. Farts.

Other person (awkward exfriendmeanieaccquaintence):
"Hey." "Hey" "wassap" "guitar"
goes on for a while... lots of pauses (extremely slow typer or un-care?)
It's not that great trying to converse, but I don't mind. I kinda miss the good old, actually like to talk to each other, days. But now he's an idiot at school. Only ok on IM.

Cry-tal:
her: psst! im procrastinating! (well not that straight out, but we all know she is)
then she wants to borrow my dress for the dance. cuz it matches her muffler.

Overlyreligiousboy:
Now here's the unexpected one. Theres this kid in our class- superoverly religious, scared to get touched, openly claims that girls have cooties and that he will be a virgin for life. He's been gone from school a few days now, no one really notices. So he says stuff about how he's super sick, and purgatory, and how he's sin. I mean, he makes it sound uber hard to get into heaven like its some sort of famous fancypants college. So I ask him to chill and if anyone knows, and slowly he starts to change to "its no big deal" mode. How weird.

And of course, I'm still wondering if that one dudes ever gonna IM. probably wont.

Imagine, all this at the same time.

mf's indeed.

ok, here comes my rant about ... UGH.
let's talk about the following situations. :)
so let's say there's this guy without any guts to ask a girl to dance. he gets rejected, and then whines.
PUH-LEASE! that's just the least of our worries.
let's say he has a low self esteem too. how FUCKING STUPID. GUYS, JUST ASK THE GIRL. the worse they can do is say no.
you pathetic wimps, afraid of REJECTION. EVERYONE GOES THROUGH IT! so SHUT YOUR MOUTH, stop complaining, and go on with life.
and you so-called "pimps", uhhhh, let's see.
YOU DON'T NEEDA NEW GIRLFRIEND EVERY MONTH.
*c**p?! <-(it would make it obvious) that's plain sick.
you people trying to get girls, being perverted will NEVER work. just.. never.
and let's say you had a gf, broke up with her.. and then asked two of her friends to dance?
yeah, you'd get
RE-JE-CT-ED! REJECTED! REJECTED! YOU JUST GOT REJECTED!
and not to mention.. you'd be hated.
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED HOW MANY GIRLS TALK ABOUT YOU AND YOUR... YUCKY-NESS??!
sigh.

THANK YOU! JUST SPIT IT OUT IN PLAIN WORDS!
YOU. DO NOT. ASK . HER. BEST. FRIENDS.
btw, the girls don't like you!

I wish I could leave this freaking school.

MF's

Everyone's just so fake. Most of the guys in our grade, asses, losers, or followers. Trying to be fun, thinking that everyone loves them. and if you ever even try to tell them that, they are suddenly the most righteous people in the world. bite me. What's with trying to be emo? And quit asking me for homework answers!

We had to do this assignment essay thing, what is our responsibility as a human. So I put contributing to the betterment of people. But how can you help these fakers? Why would you want to? It's like everyone's headed for death anyway. You lived your life. And then there was that saturday school thing, they were talking about the song "Human" by the Killers (love em). So that's what they meant by dancers. People who just dance through life. What's the point in living.

Fuhgettaboutit. More on asian parents. Shut the hell up. But I can't say that to their faces, because they're the parent! My mom, sooo racist. Not very moral either. It's a good thing I don't listen to her, or I would be a bitch who doesn't care about anything. I left the garage open once, so today after I skateboarded (horribly, of course) she started freaking.

"DID YOU LEAVE IT OPEN!?"
"No. (shut up!)"
"ARE YOU SURE?!"
"It's closed. (shut up!)"
"ITD BETTER BE CLOSED. Some mexican man will come in, steal our stuff and kill us!"
(Jeezes Christ, racist!)
"He'll rape both of us!"(-_-) "I was walking and this little boy, about the age of your sister (teen) was asking for money. He was really hungry!"
"So did you give him money?"
"No!!! What if he took my wallet!?"
~ Now you tell me, what was the point of this story? How does it relate AT ALL to the garage? Was he even mexican?! I find it hard to believe my mom came from poverty in vietnam.

City- Hollywood Undead, just came on my ipod. Good song. "Let's watch this city burn..."

a 29.

my day.
on the scale of 1-100, it was a 29.
how weird.
about/.. 20-ish bad things happened to me today.
._____.
yes, i count. o.o
i tripped 4 times, i embarassed myself infinetly, i got a paper cut, i got in trouble, i had a bad hair day, i drew an uber-ugly car, i suck at math, i karate-chopped ian's wrist, i lost my pencil, i lost my pen, i lost my eraser, genderbender looked ugly today, i saw mr. gama in a wig and suit, i got a random cut on my hand, i started bleeding, i got in trouble for NOT TALKING, and ... chyyeah.
=D
the worse is over, i assume.
WOW.
i embarssed myself, once again.
i made an ASS out of U and ME.
get it? get it?
ASSUME.
eh. i just tried cracking a joke. >.<

UBER GAY,

so, i thought my 29th-maddness trouble would be coming from that dramarama thing on tuesday.

APPARENTLY NOT.

so, today, i was just about to fall asleep in the car, and then my mom's like

DID YOU TURN IN YOUR ND APPLICATION?!?!

and i was like OH WOAH YOU WOKE ME UP. so then she gave me a lecture on

"blah blah, if you don't care about this, why don't you just go to a public school and not go to that st. francis interview? what if you don't get into pres? i hope you don't so you can just go to a public school. if you don't get into pres, you're going to (insert public school name here). yeah, let's just watch you get rejected. i hope you like going to (insert public school name here)."

yeah, i'm not so hopeful about getting into pres anymore. i have no notion of going there either.. and most of my other friends are gpoing to public school.

so...fuck whatever happens, huh.

and i don't know if i'm even going to pres... idk if i'm even gonna get accepted.

but now i know this:

THE 29THS ALWAYS SUCK FOR ME.

that's ian's number too! how ironic! :)

oh, and that was the day GENDER BENDER was born. how disgusting. :(

Here it comes

It's me again, the red font (if you hadn't realized, the ones in dark red are always me).
Sometimes you just need to rant. So, obviously, you probably don't wanna hear us "complain" or whatever. If we asked you to check out our blog, we probably meant the other one. This one's probably more boring. Just random thoughts and blah. Although I'll admit it can't be THAT dramatic. I'm average. No super-uber problems in my life. I must be emotionally unstable, smad at random things that most people would just forget.

Don't even get me started on the whole "whiny complaining" thing. Cuz some people just can't even stand to listen to a person talk for a while and let it out.